Partnered with Banner Health

70+  Blankets donated

I AM A SURVIVOR!

At a very young age, I was a victim of rape. I attempted an impossible task for a 6-year-old, to make sense of what happened, how it happened, and what it meant about me and the adults in my life. I did not tell anyone. I was a hyper-focused child, full of worry. I developed unhealthy coping behaviors that felt protective at the time, common among child-aged victims. I suppressed feelings and instead, expressed anger.

There are adults out there who can see pain in children and attempt to help. One of my helpers was a family friend who taught me to crochet. Picture an angry child starting a blanket, super frustrated with slow results and bothered by the feel of the yarn. Among many hold-ups in life, my anger didn’t allow me to finish a blanket. At the age of 20, I learned I was pregnant with my first daughter. Suddenly, I was very conscious of an internal pain I was experiencing. I was terrified of raising my daughter in a world that could take her innocence. I had to face the past and work through my pain for my daughter. I picked up a crochet hook and a soft, beautiful yarn and began making a blanket for my baby girl. Crocheting was safe. It gave me a chance to access my trauma and process what it meant. It was a small step in my healing process. From then on, I continued crocheting. It was my peace when it seemed like the room around me was spinning.

I never imagined being exposed to another assault, but that is in fact what happened. My world was crushed when I learned that the perpetrator, I did not come forward about, assaulted at least two other women. I somehow felt responsible for the fact that these women would have to live with that weight forever, as I had. A friend of mine bought me a memoir titled Know My Name by Chanel Miller. The book is about the reality of standing up to your attacker, the hurt of telling your story repeatedly, and the possibility of finding your voice. At one point in the book, Chanel is in the hospital for a forensic exam, also known as a rape kit. Her clothes have been taken and she is in hospital clothing. There is a deputy watching over her. A nurse walks by the room and demands to the deputy “why doesn’t she have a blanket?” In that moment, I looked up at all the blankets I had created with my own hands and through my own pain. Right then, I knew my where my blankets belonged. They belong with people like me who are in need of love and compassion. I also realized that if crocheting could help me, there is a world of possibilities for others."

Alexia Fisher

Founder